Shame On You Fat Girl!

Carnie Wilson Still Fat

That's right. You did this to yourself and now you are paying the piper. You can either screw up your courage and own your gluttony and then either accept it or change it or you can remain in denial. Even the butcher surgeon who makes millions butchering perfectly health digestive systems will tell you that weight loss surgery is merely a tool albeit a deadly tool. Chances are you will blow it like Carnie Wilson and return to your fat and gluttonous lifestyles. OINK!

This article is called Shame On You Fat Girl so here comes the  much needed dose of fat shaming at Chateau Heartist. 

For those of you who won't venture over to his place to read his full essay, here are seven lessons  from him, being a self described malevolent force, with regards to the truth about fat:

Lesson Number One
Men are repulsed by the sight and feel (and smell) of fat chicks. All further lessons flow from this basic premise.

Lesson Number Two
A man with options to do so will choose a slender babe over a fat chick, EVERY TIME.(Rare exceptions prove the rule. Or: Don’t count on miracles, fatties.)

Lesson Number Three
A man married to a woman who has bloated into Hogzilla proportions will become increasingly unhappy, frustrated and resentful, and will express his displeasure with his fat wife in both passive and active ways.

Lesson Number Four
A fat wife is more harmful than is a fat husband to marital health and happiness. Fatness exacts a bigger toll on a woman’s sexual market value (and, therefore, marital market value) than it does on a man’s sexual and marital market value. Men are more visually oriented than women, and a fat man can compensate for his fatness by being attractive in other ways that women love. Fat women cannot compensate for their fatness except by losing weight and slimming down to a sexy, hourglass shape.

Lesson Number Five
Fat wives increase the odds of spousal adultery and marital dissolution. A wife who lets herself go on piles of cakes and cheesy poofs is primarily responsible for any infidelity her husband commits. Harsh, but true.

Lesson Number Six
A husband will be more likely to love, cherish and support his wife if she is thin. Life is conditional. Stop crying, and deal with it.

Lesson Number Seven
The cure for marital unhappiness and a lowering of the high risk of divorce among fat wife-healthy man couples is the fat wife losing weight until she has regained her attractive, slender, feminine shape. Marriage counselors will invariably bleat tired platitudes about “interpersonal dynamics”, “increasing perceived support”, and “unresolved masculinity issues”, and none of their solutions will work except to line their filthy pockets and turn wives against their husbands. They are worse than useless, because they lead women away from the one tried-and-true solution that *will* fix their marriages: losing weight.